All the activities that lead up to the wedding were fun. It was at the rehearsal that I realized that I was really going to have to do something here ...all by myself. Up to that point, I do not think that I thought about the fact that I would be walking down the aisle of the church...by myself. I do not remember ever going to a formal wedding before this, so I just did not know!
As the minister instructed us, I had this wave of giddy nervousness take over. " You want me to do what?", I thought..."all by myself?" I had never stood up in front of a group and done anything alone before. I was the third child of six kids. I had never done anything alone before in my life and this time their would be an audience. I did not like it when I got singled out in school to answer a question ....and heaven forbid if I did not know the answer.
|Rehearsal at the church|
|Dinner at Vanoff's|
During the rehearsal dinner, the tension was relieved a bit. It was at Vanoff's Restaurant. The food was great and the two families and the wedding party blended well. We, "the Smith's" made our way to Imlay City and the reality began to set in once again. When we arrived home I went to bed but tossed and turned all night long. I worried I would trip and fall in my new shoes or that the dress was too long or I would walk too fast or slow or I would stand in the wrong place...or I would faint! I had weird dreams once I did fall asleep.
|Lunch before the wedding|
In the mean time, Matt has had several melt downs. He is six years old. He wanted to wear the tuxedo that was rented for him but Mom says, "If you are not going to walk down the aisle with Julie, you can not wear it!" "Are you going to walk with Julie", Mom kept asking..."NO", Matt exclaimed. "Then you are not wearing the Tux!", Mom told him. "But Mom!" he cried! Mom quickly found Matt something else to where. All the while I am upstairs wanting to get out of my own responsibilities. Knowing that I have to do this, I am old enough, I must be brave....but the knot in my stomach got tighter.
|Janet and Pam as we are leaving for the Church|
|Jan's "deer in the headlights look"|
I have been in several weddings since then and two of my own which were both very low scale and perfect for me! During high school, I performed on the forensics team which helped me to conquer the "stomach knotting" fear. During my career, I was called upon on several occasion to speak in front of an audience and eventually I felt comfortable with it as long as I was well prepared. To this day...I am more comfortable if I am not the center of attention. I am still the middle child.